Mini Cheesecakes Might Change How Mr. Gould Feels About Wal-Mart Express

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...And then our inbox started to get nauseous - you guessed it - another letter of complaint critique from Mr. Gould. Only this time it's addressed to Walmart Express in Lakeview. Whether the lack of mini cheesecakes is a real issue or not - we feel like there may be a few valid points that he brings to the table especially with the next Wal-Mart stores at Broadway at Surf and Franklin at Chicago Ave on the brink of opening...

Hey, guys, how are you? I’m well, thanks for asking. Anyway, can we just talk about Walmart Express for a minute? Okay, good.

So, have you ever wondered what a Walgreens would look like if it were really dark and industrial inside and if it mostly carried groceries and if the aisles were way too close together? You have!? Well, go on down to Broadway and Addison and check out Walmart Express!

Wow. What a fail this place is. Like holy moly, guys! Seriously, would it have killed someone to get a couple gallons of white paint for the concrete ceiling? I mean I’m pretty sure the big box Walmarts carry paint so it’s not like they couldn’t have gotten it for cheap. I mean god is this place dark and horrible inside.

Now, I think we all know that the signature of any Walmart is a morbidly obese human being scooting down aisles on a motorized cart. But the aisles in this place are so close together it’s near impossible for two normal sized humans to walk side-by-side let alone a normal person trying to pass by a plump person puttering down an aisle. It’d be like trying to pass a steam roller in a narrow hallway.

And who in the hell chose this location anyway? It’s next to a Walgreens, around the corner from a Whole Foods [Yeah, remember this?] and practically across the street from a Jewel. I mean come on, Walmart, if you were going to offer a crappy product at least put it in a place where it could do in a pinch.

But, friends, do you know the worst part? Check out this excerpt from a Yelper’s comment: “...they seem to not be stocking my mini cheesecake I fell in love with.” Those monsters. Well, that just settles it then, doesn’t it? Down with Walmart Express (unless it gets mini cheesecakes and then maybe I will reconsider it, but probably not)!

Sincerely,
Brett Gould

· All Posts From Mr. Gould's Complaint Corner [Racked]
· Wal-Mart Express is Now Open in Lakeview [Racked]