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According to internet legend, in 2008 a master of information and wordsmithing, world traveler, and supreme cataloger of all human knowledge was hatched in River North as the figurehead of reason. In 2009, this enigma found employment at Groupon and solace in a spaceship. It was at that time, Mister Groupon the Cat became the unofficial mascot and voice for extreme humor in write-ups at Chicago's most forward tech company.
And now, after more than 5 years of silence about his personal life and what it's like to work in the Groupon office at 600 W Chicago Ave, Mister Groupon the Cat (with matted fur and a sort-of lisp) speaks out in a first-ever interview.
Racked: Hi there, Mister Groupon Cat, we're curious: what is your middle and last name?
Mister Groupon the Cat: Like all animals, or inanimate objects, my middle initial is "The," i.e. Groupon T. Cat.
R: Do you have any nicknames your co-workes have bestowed upon you?
Mr. Cat: No nicknames, but my laser-tag handle, is DEALZ.
R: Describe a typical day at the office for you.
Mr. Cat: I wake up early, around 11am and usually fall asleep again minutes later after accidentally wandering into a sunbeam. On weekends I like to take the spaceship out and buzz around town freaking out birds.
R: How fast does your space ship go? Like, in M.P.H.?
Mr. Cat: Correct, it goes a Million Paws an Hour.
R: You're pretty fit, do you have special eating regimen or a workout strategy?
Mr. Cat: Usually, I just search Groupon for "Food" every morning and buy the first three. Sometimes it's prix fixe French cuisine for two, sometimes it's a bacon of the month club. As for working out, I find napping is the best exercise.
R: We hear the Groupon office is pretty fun to work at. What's the most outrageous thing that's ever happened here?
Mr. Cat: Once I ate a quarter!
R: Word on the street is that you're a fantastic water cooler conversationalist. Can you share any tips with us?
Mr. Cat: Most people are too busy having fun in their city using Groupons to ever stay at home and watch TV, so I would avoid the topic of so-called "popular" TV-shows altogether. Also, bring out the baby pictures! People love trading and collecting each other's baby pictures.
R: You have more gold chains than Mr. T.. Where do you shop for them? Or are they gifts?
Mr: Cat: Sweet Mr. T reference!
R: Where would you go on your dream vacation? What would you wear when you're there?
Mr. Cat: I would probably go au natural, because I am a creature of the animal kingdom. As for destination, I would just search Groupon Getaways for someplace with sunny beaches. And lax catnip policies.
Related: All Groupon Cat Coverage [Racked]
· Groupon [Official Site]