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"Is it me, or did everyone look super orange at the Golden Globes? Like everyone was dipped in Cheetos!" says Dillon Jay, a fashion stylist who just made the move from New York to Chicago. "My favorite part of the night was when Jacqueline Bisset had her award acceptance meltdown: "shit! "Scottish background to the front" is going to be my new voice mail greeting."
Want to hear more? Sure you do. Without further ado, we bring to you: Dillon Jay's Worst Dressed Ladies, Golden Globes Edition. Follow along—and wince in sartorial pain—with our handy links.
· Jacqueline Bissett: Her dress (above) looked like something a soap opera star would have worn to the daytime Emmys, in 1988. Her dress was just as messy as her acceptance speech, and totally off the rails.
· Drew Barrymore: The floral dress just made her look heavy, and it was too much. That flower dress needs to be put to bed.
· Tina Fey: She looked like someone's bedspread in her red carpet look.
· Heidi Klum: Emo flapper girl.
· Zooey Deshanel: Take one of Zooey Deshanel before you sleep and you'll be out in five minutes. The dress and color combination were boring! She's young and quirky, I would have loved putting her in something with color!
· Sandra Bullock: Love her, but she looked like a Quinceanera cake topper.
· Zoe Saldana: Too much going on with this look.If they would have kept her simpler in a pale pink I think it would have been amazing.
· Kerry Washington: I don't get it! She is always on the best dressed list, and this is what she comes out with? It was the worst I've seen her wear. I think if she went with a simple bold color in a minimal silhouette she would have been better off. The half jacket dress thing was odd!
· Lena Dunham: I don't really get this look at all. The fit was awful and the dress just wasn't for her. I would have loved something that supported her body better and accessories that were bolder. I would like to see her in better colors.
Stay tuned for Dillon Jay's best-dressed ladies!
· Dillon Jay [Official Site]
· Golden Globes Awards [Official Site]
· Golden Globes 2014 Red Carpet Yays, Nays, and Crays [Racked]